"I don't think of you as attractive" my ex-boyfriend from almost a year ago confessed to me in his broken English, a day after he broke up with me. Of course, through a text message because our relationship was not important enough for him to talk about in person.
I asked him, "What do you mean?" like why on earth would you date someone you don't find attractive in the first place? or did he just not know the right words in English? He said, "I don't really mean that. I do think you're pretty but you could be prettier." I asked him, "how can I be prettier, then?" When I asked that, I wasn't planning to do whatever he said in order for him to get back with me. It was very clear that we weren't the right person for one another. I was way more mature than he was, and was smart enough to know that he still needed to learn a lot, including emotional intelligence.
He told me how in our relationship he wanted to take care of me by going to the gym with me so I can exercise and eat healthily. I thought it strange because I really did not need anyone taking care of me other than myself. I know his intentions were good in saying that but I also thought, doesn't this sound like he's being overprotective? I would do exercise at home and my mom saw how dedicated I was to exercising that she bought me a gym membership for my birthday. So now we love to go exercising together and we are both at a much better shape than we were before and we have started to enjoy it.
Of course, I went all Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) on him and wanted to show him that I too could get fit if I wanted to and I could be healthy. At some point, I ended up blocking him, after seeing him going on dates with another girl, who oddly enough had a similar body type to mine (maybe he wanted to try "taking care" of somebody else, then again, in that case, become a personal trainer at a gym, there's a career change idea!). Things ended up getting creepier when his friends would take pictures of me on the train, but that's another story. I ended up blocking him on all social media sites for that reason, and because you just really need to get some people out of your life and move on. I blocked him because I was done trying to prove something to someone, and no he did not tell me he was sorry or anything like Warner did to Elle Woods. So I continued to exercise because I actually enjoyed it and because it did wonders to my anxiety.
I didn't write "journey" on this title because it's definitely not as brilliant as other people's weight loss journeys, losing ten pounds, or twenty, and going on all these fancy diets and such. If anything, I've been more mindful of what I eat-- okay that's not true, I do enjoy eating pizza and I even got to try taco bell with a more recent ex. Our relationship may not have ended well but at least he thought my body was flawless. If you decide to get into a relationship, please find someone who loves you despite your body type! I'll admit, that I've only lost 6 pounds, but it's a good start in my opinion. I used to drink lots of energy drinks in college, which contributed to my weight gain. Although it's a small achievement, I'm proud of myself and motivated to continue.
As for him, I do hope he realizes that skinny isn't the equivalent of beautiful. I'm not saying skinny people aren't beautiful, I have many thin friends who really are, but his point of view was that in order to be "attractive" you need to be one body type. Like I said, he still needed a lot to learn and I realized, I didn't want to be the one to teach him everything. In a way, I'm grateful that he told me the truth about how he felt about me, and that gave me the motivation to prove him wrong and to show that I had the potential to be healthy. Maybe I need to be more disciplined if I want to have a skinny body type, but if I do lose more weight at some point, it's going to be because I want to. Besides exercise, sometimes fitness involves getting out of an unhealthy relationship. It doesn't mean spending more than three hours at the gym, it means going at your own pace, and knowing that one must not compare themselves to others.
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